Who Am I?

I found this red second hand coat inexpensively from the flea market. It was a perfect fit. I also warmly welcomed a red coat into my wardrobe, which I didn't yet have. But at the cash desk I was being told, that someone had already reserved it for try on before me, and the sales person at the desk should not have let me tried it on in the first place before the other person.

 

The female sellers thought a while and said: "It seems that the coat is going to have a good home with you, and that's the main thing. So we are now selling this coat to you."

 

So I knew it was meant for me and I bought it. Only later I realized that this coat was the luxury brand Dolce&Gabbana's. I googled D&G:s coat's prices just for curiosity. I found some for 700 euros! Omg, who is paying 700 euros for a simple trench coat?? That's absurd!, was my first reaction.

 

But then, thinking again, in some circumstances, yes, that could happen. Anything could happen in the certain circumstances.

 

That made me to think relativity, what is cheap and what is expensive. And that sometimes you just have to buy something really expensive, what ever that means to you. That means valuing yourself.

 

I also started thinking, who am I? Am I me and my circumstances? I googled and realized that it is a philosopher José Ortega's famous maxim. Next three chapters are almost straight quotation from Wikipedia: 

 

"Ortega suggests that there is no me without things and things are nothing without me: "I" (human being) can not be detached from "my circumstance" (world). This led Ortega to pronounce his famous maxim "Yo soy yo y mi circunstancia" ("I am I and my circumstance") (Meditaciones del Quijote, 1914) which he always situated at the core of his philosophy.

 

The Spanish philosopher proposes a system wherein the basic or "radical" reality is "my life" (the first yo) which consists of "I" (the second yo) and "my circumstance" (mi circunstancia). This circunstancia is oppressive; therefore, there is a continual dialectical interaction between the person and his or her circumstances and, as a result, life is a drama that exists between necessity and freedom.

 

In this sense Ortega wrote that life is at the same time fate and freedom, and that freedom “is being free inside of a given fate. Fate gives us an inexorable repertory of determinate possibilities, that is, it gives us different destinies. We accept fate and within it we choose one destiny.” In this tied down fate we must therefore be active, decide and create a “project of life” — thus not be like those who live a conventional life of customs and given structures who prefer an unconcerned and imperturbable life because they are afraid of the duty of choosing a project." (quotation ends)

Sounds like awakening to me ;)

 

The Queen Pig on the back is still in good shape and oxygen...I mean helium.

On my way to school I walked through the amusement park close to it, seeking something. Still thinking: "Who am I?".

I found the mirrors.

So am I this?

Or this, chubby one?

Or this, whatever it is?

Long legged?

Is this me?

 Multiplied?

Wide?

 Tall?

 Short?

 Distorted?

Slim?

A dwarf?

Is this me?

It seems that I am all that, depending on the mirror. Or to be more accurate, at least those are my reflections. But I am not my reflection. Who am I then?

I asked again, and then...listened.

There was no answer, because there was no "I". There was only conciousness, aware-space, a witness without an image or a visible form.

I listened again, being still and listened. Being still and knowing "I am". I realized I had stopped seeking.

When I got to the space to be, to pure being, I realized I had entered the space of...actually...love.